If you manipulate people, lie, sabotage, and verbally assault your fellows, I don’t fancy your chances either.

But I’d like to push a bit harder to see what emerges. I plan a post comparing notorious conners (psychopaths) and incompetent conners (autistics).

(Geez, if having no-one saying a bad thing about one is what it takes to be a beneficial member of society, I don’t fancy my chances.)

I also believe that some of these so-called high-functioning sociopaths are probably not real sociopaths at all. Probably just have NPD. Which is bad enough, but they’re functional in society. People with NPD generally don’t wind up in prison & stuff like that.

But I fully & adamantly disagree with anyone who says that style of working in society is beneficial. I don’t believe it is. I’m sure SOMEONE always pays for it in emotional pain. Their employees, their vendors — someone. I don’t think everyone around them would have all positive to say about them, if those people were honest.

Many people suffer in silence, popping Prosac, dealing with covert workplace bullying & abuse.
I worked at a place like that for a couple of months. I wound up with mysterious physical ailments that just as mysteriously went away after I left there. I was the ONLY one who spoke up and complained. Mainly because the perpetrators were actually harming the company, and interfering with other people’s ability to do their jobs. And I was asked to leave. The problem was systemic in the company, obviously. The business had a tax lien against it. A lot of angry customers with financial disputes. A lot of bill collectors calling. And a slough of complaints to the BBB. And all the normal, hard working, non crazy people were on psych meds for depression & anxiety. That’s no coincidence.

Not all companies are like that. Certainly not the one I work at now. People are respectful. And it’s successful. No tax liens, no angry customers, no hounding bill collectors.

You don’t have to be an asshole to succeed.
Indeed, I really believe that’s just a long-term hinderance.

The owner of the crazy company DID have a nicer car than the owner of this one. But is that really the measure of success? I think it’s just a sign that somebody’s willing to spend beyond their means, which hurts everyone in societ.

And from what I read, like I said, the sociopaths may attempt to “try it on for size”, but fail, because the part of their brain for those emotions is simply NON-functional. It’s impossible for a true sociopath to feel those emotions. Physically impossible.

You may well be right. Or it may be that this study does involve internally trying things on for size (i.e. not just objectively noting).

Re-doing psychology, hey? Maybe next year.

I went to a talk by Nancy McWilliams – one of the few psychoanalysts who discusses psychopathy – where she actually named a very famous tycoon as a high functioning psychopath. This guy knows how to persuade, he’s not just a bully (though that’s his bottom-line position).

For her a high functioning psychopath can be a valuable member of society. Perhaps the super-competitive are that way inclined.

Actually I think there is more clarity. Being ‘too subjective’ blurs our perception of ‘the object’ and being ‘too objective’ blurs self-awareness.

I’m really looking forward to what you have to say about empathy. I think there are few more important topics. I also think it means re-doing psychology (it is the only ’science’ still clinging to 19th century objectivism). Philosophically I think it is about the difference between early and late Husserl – the role of intention. Put another way life comes value-laden.

Very much looking forward to the next few weeks. Evan

However, unfortunately, I don’t think they do that too often anyway. Even the more functional ones, I think struggle with that.

Everything I’ve read about sociopaths suggest that they’re not the sort of people who do know enough to back off when someone’s worried, or whatever. They just fight it. Either with lies or brute force, or flattery. Like tools in their arsenal.
I think it’s really that simple for them.

To win someone, they’ll just flower someone with so many compliments, flatter them profusely, and throw attention at the person, so aggressively, that it takes attention away from their social ineptitudes, and the fact that they lack empathy & sympathy, or the functioning of those in their relationships.

They know the right words to say to attempt to cover it up.

That’s all the need to con.
They don’t have to functionally relate at all.

That’s why I truly believe someone with excellent boundaries is pretty much immune from their cons.
That said, I think many people don’t have excellent boundaries all the time. And even people with excellent boundaries can have something happen in their lives to cause a weak moment.
But also, I think some people really have kind of poor boundaries, for whatever reason (likely not their fault – something that happened in childhood or the like)… And that makes them more susceptible.

Mind you, I’m not pointing fingers of blame, or criticizing people with poor boundaries who have been victimized.

I say it because I firmly believe that anyone who wants to can learn to exercise better boundaries, and thus protect themselves better. Whether they’ve got poor boundaries, so-so boundaries, okay ones, or even with boundaries that are quite good, there’s likely always room for improvement.
I know that’s been the case for me. And I’ve talked to a lot of other people who have found this also.